I’m sure most parents have been here or if not will unfortunately face it at some point in their child’s life; Insults, put downs, arguments with friends. When do you, if ever, intervene? Especially if you are good friends with the parents, have you ever tried to say nicely to someone that perhaps their child isn’t being quite so angelic as they think?
I remember my mother always taking the stance that she would never get involved in her children’s quarrels. That it was up to us to sort things out. I think the only time she had to intervene the mother of the child stopped talking to her for years.
I’ve always been open minded with my children. I know they’re not perfect and can be as catty as the next child so luckily have never needed to get involved although it still hurts to watch that child upset.
What happens though when an adult insults your child or children, undeservedly, what should you do then? An influential person to these children that should know better and realise that their comments could have serious detrimental consequences. Do you sit back and let the children fight their own battles and defend themselves, or do you tell this person that they are wrong and their actions are emotional bullying.
What would you do?
I honestly don’t know. But I wanted to say good luck!
thank you for the thought. X
I don’t think it’s ever ok for an adult to insult a child and in those circumstances I would step in. Obviously I don’t know the full circumstances and if you think it might make things worse then I can see why you might be hesitant but I do believe children need to know that an adult will stick up for them if they can’t do that themselves. I hope whatever the situation is, you can find a way to resolve it without too much heartache. xx
I believe children should learn to fight their own battles, up to a point. In our society today, the bar of “normal behavior” is constantly being lowered and not raised to higher standards. As mature adults, it is our duty to step in and teach or correct the bad behaviour.
When not provoked within means, are rude to children, it should be called out as well. Sometimes, keeping the peace means being charitable which means teaching tough love. Being nice is NOT being charitable. It just means we will let things go for the sake of peace. But nothing positive is taught in those circumstances.
Just my two cents.
Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it. X
Of course it’s wrong for an adult to be rude to a child and I would have no hesitation in letting them know that. My dialema is when a child comes to play and he is a bit of a nightmare, wrecking the place and hitting your child. What do you do when the mum comes to collect? I just chickened out and said they had a lovely time. I won’t repeat it though!
Oh that is a nightmare. I’m a chicken too. I’ve heard some horror stories before.
What is going on in this world when adults think it is okay to verbally attack children? This is at least the second time I’ve heard of something similar.
It’s not okay and something should be done.
It’s complicated but I’m not sure whether saying anything could male things even worse for them. 🙁 xx
I try to help my daughters to fight their own battles, although I have stepped in a few times in the past and have spoken to the parents – not always successfully. However, that is when it’s between my daughters and their friends – if an adult was involved, then I would be in there as quick as a flash. No doubt in my mind at all. An adult taking on a child is not on, if they have an issue with your child they should speak directly to you. This sort of thing makes my blood boil, I’m quite easy going most of the time but if anyone does something that upsets my girls then I can turn into a dragon very quickly 🙂
I hope it turns out okay for you, just be calm and state the facts & your opinion clearly. Also, I would remind them that they should be speak to you in the first instance and not your child. If that doesn’t work punch their lights out. Good luck x
Thanks for the advice and the chat. X
I wouldn’t be able to step back if an adult insult my child or children. I think they would be out of line. Maybe I’ll feel differently when my children are a bit older but right now, that crossses the line in my book. x
You’re right. The whole situation is a nightmare. Thank you Susan. Xx