When you hold your newborn baby for the first time your life suddenly becomes mapped out into chunks of firsts; the first smile, the first tooth, the first temperature, the first steps and then onto the first day at school. Much later it’s the first day at secondary school and then before you know it they’ve finished and left school…yep, I promise you it will all come around much much quicker than you anticipate. I can very clearly remember my first son’s birth and early years as though it were yesterday. I still cannot believe he finished school nearly a year ago and is off to University in September.
Now I know not all teens take a Gap year or are lucky enough to go off travelling but that has been the latest huge milestone I have had to endure, under duress. My baby boy, okay he’s eighteen but my children will always be babies, has gone off to far flung places for several months. Apart from him physically leaving home for good and becoming a parent himself it is quite possibly one of the biggest milestones I will have to face. Knowing I have to let go but thinking that perhaps he’s not as confident as he lets on or as organised as he should be. Actually I know he wasn’t very organised despite my ‘suggestions’ for months, despite my lists and literally days before he left for India needless to say it was an extremely fraught time. I wanted an itinerary, it never materialized although I am aware a lot of the fun of travelling is not having rigid plans and just going with the flow…but just a rough idea would have been good. SOB!
However, I realise he is an adult, I can guide him but I am no longer in control; yes control is a strong word but when your children a little you are in control, they go where you take them, they do (hopefully) what you want. I can only hope that I have brought my children up to know what is right and wrong, to have fun but not take dangerous risks.
I will be eternally grateful for the magic of wifi, internet and social networks. Most of the time I know that my son is safe and well. He eased himself into travelling gently by staying in a very nice hostel at a cost of £6 a night where there was free wifi but my heart is in my mouth at the moment knowing that last night he was travelling over night cross country on bus in India for about seven hours and doesn’t know when he can contact me again. My mantra at the moment “Got to let go, got to let go…”
The positives from this are that I think he needed to do this, as difficult as it is for me I am aware that my son probably led a pretty sheltered life as a result of the school he went to and where we live. I am convinced, crosses fingers, he will come back a different boy man, hopefully he will realise how lucky he is, how hard life is for a lot of people and bring back with him empathy, knowledge, independence and some fantastic memories.
For now I will continue to bite my nails until I spy his next tweet or he messages me….
This is something that has been playing on my mind recently, what if my girls decided to go on a gap year like their aunties have done, how would I cope?! They are only 2yrs and 7 months old just now but I like to think ahead!
It does come around so quickly…I honestly don’t know where the time has gone
Hello from BritMums’ Carnival! What a brave mum you are! He will be totally fine though – as they say ‘if you love them, set them free’. It will definitely make him a better person and he will return home appreciating his lucky life just that bit more. I think GAP years are a fantastic thing to do. Try to enjoy his adventure as much as you can (although I appreciate how difficult that must be!) He will be home before you know it with lots of wonderful tales to tell. 🙂
Hello!
Ahhh thank you, it’s three weeks now and it seems sooo long still before he’s back. He’s not very forthcoming with info either but at least he stays in contact when he can thank goodness. I am sure he is having an amazing time, lucky boy! 🙂
Sending big hugs, I can’t imagine how hard this must be. xxx
Thank you Susan, I still haven’t heard from him but the friend he’s travelling with has managed to text home…nothing for days though. GULP. X
Sending major hugs!!
Thank you!
OH! Sending you major hugs! And I thought letting mine go off to a college two hours from me was hard!
As you said, thank goodness for technology though. Can you imagine if we didn’t have that “instant” availability that we have now?
But I really want to know, where DID our babies go? I swear they were crawling around here just minutes ago. x
I don’t know how I’d cope…I suppose we’ve come to rely on it all now but thank goodness we do have it! Yes it does just seem minutes ago. XX