I have been stewing and seething over this since I heard about it yesterday. A mother in her forties ( not that her age should matter) was given a police caution for leaving her fourteen year old son babysitting her three year old son for half an hour. Obviously I don’t know the circumstances behind this but it is very worrying to me and I am sure many many others too. In case you don’t know there isn’t actually any law stating the age that children can be left alone, just that if the babysitter is under 16 years then the parents remain legally responsible. For goodness sake are, we not capable of making informed choices anymore? Are we all suddenly so stupid that we would leave our children in the care of someone totally incapable of that?
I am a single mother, not through choice, of five children ages 16, 13, 12, 7 and 3 years of age. For nearly three years, since the youngest was a small baby I have had to get him up to leave the house at 7 am every morning to take my eldest son to the station, a ten minute round trip. Three years ago I also had to get the other three children up to come along too and then again in the evening. I cannot tell you how many times I was tempted to leave my sleeping son in his cot, how cruel it felt to wake him up and then drag him out half asleep into the cold. It would have only been for a few minutes but I couldn’t and wouldn’t have. What would happen if I’d had a crash or broken down or he woke and spent those ten minutes screaming? My children certainly weren’t capable of caring for a baby then.
Until recently I had never left the toddler with his eldest brother, aged sixteen. Little M was quite mischievous and I know that teens are easily distracted but over the last few months as Little M has become calmer I have left him for up to an hour in the care of his brother.
For the last couple of weeks now that Little M is a bit older now and more than happy to sit in front of the television I have left him in the care of his other brother Big E aged thirteen whilst I drive one of the girls to their dance lesson. I then drive straight home to check on them and then drive the twenty minutes back to pick up from the dance class. I never leave Little M eating, he may choke, I always insist that Big E stays downstairs with Little M and they are not to start running around, playing with knives, smoking,playing with matches, drinking or having parties (joke)
Obviously none of that is going to happen now, even though my 12 and 13 year old’s are sensible and intelligent it seems that I am not allowed to give them this type of responsibility. Instead I will put my screaming toddler in the car for every small trip.
Never mind that twenty odd years ago at my daughter’s age I was picking my younger brother up from the child minder after I finished school or that at thirteen I was babysitting my teacher’s babies regularly and getting paid.
Yes we all know that some parents are irresponsible, that will never change, and we know that it wouldn’t be right to leave a fourteen year looking after a three year old all day but please, most of us would never put our children in a position of harm on purpose. Accidents happen but they happen when parents are there, I won’t rant about the situations children are left in with unsuitable parents here but they are. If children are equipped with phones, emergency numbers to call, have common sense and even basic first aid then surely we, as their parents, should be trusted/allowed to be autonomous.
I am sure I am not the only person that is sick of this Nanny state that we are becoming in the UK?
This story strikes a chord with so many people doesn’t it?
Like others I’ve left my kids alone at times, mainly when I have to go fetch one of them from piano lessons, 2 mins down the road. Yes, there is a chance of something happening to me while I am out and about but there is MORE of a chance of me going completely insane trying to drag them all away from the TV and get them to put shoes and coats on to go out in the cold.
We are not doing anything wrong. I suggest we all get on with our lives; they can’t caution all of us!
Exactly! You could spend longer in the shower too and who’s supervising them then. The country is going mad in my opinion. 🙁 😉
When I saw this item in the newspaper, I read it out to my husband and teen daughter. We were shocked that we were potentially breaking the law. On occasion she has sat in with my 6YO why I have nipped to pick toddler from nursery. She has also stayed in the house, with sleeping toddler whilst I have picked 6YO from school or gymnastics. She has also returned home from school to an empty house for upto an hour before we get in from work. Surely a parent is capable of making a decision of what is safe to do with regards to their own children? I think for peace of mind the law needs clarifying, as it was always my understanding that age 14 was deemed a suitably responsible age to leave alone & to babysit.
It should be clarified shouldn’t it, at least we would all know where we stand. I think those of us that are sensible shouldn’t be penalised for the few in the minority that will put their children at risk whatever rules there are or aren’t . X
That is awful! I know in the state of Texas, there is no legal age to leave them home. The law talks about being arrested for abandoment only…days on end…no food, no transportation, no medical help, etc. I LOVE the state of Texas. Now, with that said, no, we never just up and left our kids. I waited till our oldest was mature enough to slowly start leaving her in charge as I went to fill the tank up with gas, or went 6 miles away to the grocery store for an hour. Last year, she was old enough to take the Red Cross/CPR/Babysitting class. It was an all day class on a Saturday. It was a great experience for her. Since then, we have allowed her to babysit other children…but, not infants, yet. We are slowly working her in with the experience.
what a great idea a babysitting class is. As far as I am aware there isn’t anything like that around here. That’s it though isn’t it, little and often teaches responsibility, no one is talking about leaving a child in charge of another all day. I think it is an essential life skill. x
It’s not just over there – it’s here as well. Although I believe some states have laws on the books regarding how old a child can be before you leave them home alone – but none (that I know of) about leaving them in charge of younger ones.
It seems to be a very grey area doesn’t it. I just wish we weren’t all treated as idiots so much. Responsible parents would never put their children at risk, accidents can happen even if the parent was upstairs doing something couldn’t they. X
I do not think there was anything the mother did wrong. I remember I had friends who did babysitting as a job when they were 14 , 28 years ago! My two are much closer in age, 12 and 14, I never leave the 14 year old in charge – they are both responsible for looking out for their sister and there have been times when the 12 year old has not wanted to be left – so I don’t. A family looks after each other – we are so lucky not to have 7 year old children responsible for babies, and yet just over 100 years ago that may have happened – the way it is going you will be allowed to legally have sex at 16 (as you are) but not be allowed to look after any resulting children until you are 21! I actually think leaving a 14 year old for half an hour in charge of a three year old sounds completely reasonable (obviously all changes child to child). If at all possible can i suggest you make your OWN choices and try not to let daft stories like this sway your common sense.
Exactly, my brother hated being left alone but my older two love it! It is all down to common sense isn’t it, we shouldn’t be dictated to because of a few in the minority that are not responsible parents. x
Sometimes you have the choice to wake them up at 5am to go in the car for 10 minutes because you have to take your husband to the station to catch his train for work because the Taxi you booked has failed to arrive or you can let them sleep and hope you get back OK. Problem is you never think on a 10 minute juorney that anything could happen….
No, it’s a hard call to make isn’t it. I know lots that do it. I think everyone’s comments have made me realise this whole thing is daft and we should all do what we feel is right. 🙂
I’m seeing a few posts on this subject this week – including one from myself. Those of us who are very vocal about the subject have all admitted to leaving our children alone at home OR in the care of an older sibling. No-one has called me out on it! No-one!
http://www.iamtypecast.com/2011/02/home-alone.html
I was a bit worried about admitting it but you’ve made me feel better and everyone’s comments have ridiculed the article too. X
You know my friend S, similar situ to u re husbands finances etc, well when her kid (girl age 9) goes to stay with Dad, he goes out and leaves her in Kensington Flat in London all alone whilst he goes out drinking with new wife! – Like I’d let that happen! But S rang NSPCC for advice and was told he was not breaking the law!
Oh my God, poor child and poor S with that worry. That is disgusting. Law is a joke, not consistent at all is it. X