I’m sure many of you aren’t unfamiliar with the story last week in the press about the headmistress who went back to work seven hours after giving birth. She wanted to prove to her female pupils that you can have it all! She considers herself special and an excellent role model. Do you?
I had five straight forward births, three of them at home but there is no way I could have got myself looking decent or staunched the flow of blood enough to walk very far (excuse the graphic detail) let alone go back to work seven hours later. Okay, so this ‘special’ lady was lucky, she obviously could, but apart from the physical effects of giving birth I wouldn’t have wanted to go back to work, however much I loved my job. The hours and days, even weeks after having a baby are so special, you can’t get that time back. It speeds by so quickly and is not healthy for either mother or baby. All the midwives of long ago would be turning in their graves at the thought.
I agree with the critics on this one- this woman has set unrealistic expectations of working mothers, there is enough pressure on mothers as it is. We already feel guilty about so much and now we face being criticised for not bouncing back seven hours, even seven days, after giving birth. I wouldn’t want my daughters to be in the care of this woman, I don’t see her as a positive role model and in fact I think her message is the total opposite of what she was hoping to convey. If she really thought women could have it all she would have taken some maternity leave, at least. Instead she seems to have pointed out that in order to maintain her career, a new born baby and her own health come second.
I’ve been thinking about the article in question for a while and wondering whether to rant about it or not because it was bugging me slightly. Watching ‘The Changling‘ last night convinced me I should. If you haven’t seen the film I would highly recommend it. It made me think that female respect/social status hasn’t actually changed much at all since then. I’m aware that I have slight insecurities about the fact that I’ve never worked since having children, a joint decision, but one which is now coming back to haunt me. Suddenly finding myself as a single parent eighteen months ago I have had to endure the ‘looks’ from certain professionals. I have been told I’m over protective….if I told you the circumstances you would be aghast, I have been questioned as to why I was still breastfeeding my son when he wasn’t even two by a female judge and I’ve been called ‘she’ constantly throughout a court hearing by a another female judge whilst my, soon to be ex, husband was called Mr X. Is this a case of trying too hard to prove that they can make it in what is predominantly a ‘man’s’ world? It’s not a world that I would still want my daughters to join even now. In fact I’m going to go as far as saying that I got the impression that the Judge in question was actually ‘jealous’ of what my lifestyle once was and seemed determined to put obstacles in the way to allow me to maintain that lifestyle.
It seems women are still not considered equal, if they were then surely they wouldn’t feel the need to prove themselves invincible still which surely sabotages the saying, “Women can have it all.” I don’t believe anyone, male or female, can have it all without there being compromises somewhere.
This is Little M and I just seconds after he was born, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to show you a picture. ;0)
I am trying to view this in Netscape but the images are not loading properly. Is it my broadband speed?
Can you give me an update on when your next post may be. Is there an auto sign up section for it?
I totally agree with you. By trying to do something positive for her “girls” she in fact sent them a completely unrealistic message. I’m all for supporting women however they chose to live their lives from the SAHM to the back to work ASAP career girl with help from nannies & nurseries. Whatever works for you is fine by me. However, I also believe it is utterly impossible to have it all! It is an oxymoron, something always has to give & the trick is finding the right balance for you & your family. I just can’t see who benefitted from this publicity stunt other than the Mother. Certainly not the “girls” who are being taught unrealistic behaviour or the poor baby separated unnecessarily from its mother.
Sorry, bit of a rant. Glad I “found” you anyway. Look forward to reading more of your blog.
MD xx
Nova – still not showing updates (but I still check manually no matter what!x). This post still isn’t showing up in the updates (but I still check manually! xx) I’ll figure out what you are saying no matter what! 😉
.-= gigi´s last blog ..In ten years….. =-.
Weird, Gigi….I think that is happening with others as well, although it’s updating for me. Have you subscribed? Or just using the Friend Connect? I may remove the friend connect as I’m not sure it does what blogger one does. Let me know so I can try and fix it. I will post something today ( not sure what yet lol) and see if you get update. xx
.-= Nova´s last blog ..Can women really have it all? =-.
I’ve just thought…..it may be because I haven’t posted since you re- connected? I don’t think it updates until then. I will do a post later. x
.-= Nova´s last blog ..Can women really have it all? =-.
Amazing photo! So beautiful.
I think that is a very sad story. That doesn’t speak well as to where she is going to put her priorities as that child ages. And expecting a woman to go back to work so soon is ridulous, even if you are expecting that of yourself.
Before having children I was totally dismissive of SAHM. I thought their job was so easy. I now eat my words. This is way harder than any paid work I have ever done. And much more important.
p.s love your photo xx
.-= beki´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Confused………..i’m presuming you have 2 blogs (scratching head here lol)
The Changeling stayed with me for such a long time after watching, one of those films that hits you somewhere deep inside.
Beki xxx
.-= beki´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Seriously?? I hadn’t heard this story. What kind of idiot is this woman? Doesn’t she know about the bonding process? Beautiful picture of you and the baby by the way….
On another note – I thought I was following – apparently I wasn’t (or it didn’t take!). Looks like I’ve missed quite a bit; off to catch up!
.-= gigi´s last blog ..I’ve achieved another award – and have forgotten again!!!! =-.
Thank you Gigi….
I changed my blog over to WordPress then lost all the followers, hopefully it should work now. Let me know if you still don’t get updates. xxx
Isn’t it illegal to go back to work that quick? I had 1 emergency CS and one forced planned CS and was unable to function anywhere approaching properly for a couple of days!
I hope that my daughter has the chance to choose what she wants to do and isn’t forced into trying to do it all just to prove she is as good as a man…
.-= Becky´s last blog ..Recipe for a great long weekend away… =-.
It should be illegal shouldn’t it Becky……I feel sorry for ALL of our children, the pressures they will be under is immense. :0( xx
Nothing from heaven or hell, would have torn me away from the new baby, never mind proving to the world, I was superwoman. Surely your first priority is to that little soul who has entered the world upon your invitation. This is your first responsibility not an ego filled quest that puts more pressure on already stretched females .. Great post.. and fantastic photo. I envy you so much I would have loved a natural birth, birth plan for first was possible home birth with pool. Ended up days in labour epidural, spinal block and emergency C section .. elective C for second :0
.-= Ruth Johnston´s last blog ..Money cant buy you love.. =-.
Me neither, that time is so precious. I’m sorry you didn’t get your home/water birth…..I have been very lucky to have had five very relatively easy births. XXX